If you’ve spent any time looking into recovery, you’ve probably run into a lot of “all or nothing” thinking. There’s a common narrative that says you’re either “using” or you’re “sober,” with no room in between. For many people, that “forever” word is so heavy it actually stops them from even trying to make a change.
I’ve been in that headspace—where the idea of never having a drink again feels like losing a limb. But here’s something we believe deeply at Horizon: Recovery isn’t a one-size-fits-all uniform. It’s a personalized path. Whether you’re looking for total abstinence or just looking to reduce the harm substances are causing in your life, you belong here. Let’s talk about what “success” actually looks like.
1. Moving Beyond the Binary
The old way of thinking says that if you slip up once, you’re back at “Day Zero” and everything you’ve worked for is gone. That’s not just discouraging; it’s scientifically inaccurate. Your brain doesn’t “reset” its progress because of one bad night.
In British Columbia, we talk a lot about harm reduction. Usually, people think that’s just for policy-makers or clinics, but it’s a personal tool, too. Personal harm reduction means asking: “How can I make my life safer and healthier today than it was yesterday?” For some, that means quitting. For others, it might mean switching to less dangerous substances, using less frequently, or ensuring they’re never using alone.
2. What is Your “Why”?
Instead of focusing on what you’re “giving up,” try focusing on what you’re trying to protect.
- Is it your relationship with your kids?
- Is it your physical health or your liver function?
- Is it your ability to hold down a job you actually like?
When you define recovery by what you’re gaining (stability, memory, money, peace), the “forever” part becomes less of a threat and more of a choice. If your goal is to be a present parent, and a certain substance is getting in the way of that, your recovery is measured by your presence—not just a calendar count.
3. The “Dry January” Effect vs. Real Change
We often see people try to “white knuckle” it through a month of sobriety just to prove they can. But recovery isn’t a test of willpower; it’s a process of healing. If you’re miserable every second you’re sober, you haven’t failed—you just haven’t found the right support yet.
Success isn’t just “not using.” It’s building a life that you don’t feel the constant need to escape from. That might involve therapy, new hobbies, or changing your social circle.
4. Respecting Different Paths
You might meet people who swear by 12-step programs and total abstinence. That’s a valid and life-saving path for millions. You might also meet people using Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) or those who practice “moderate” lifestyles in certain areas.
The “recovery police” don’t exist. The only person who gets to define what a “better life” looks like is you. If your life is getting better—if you’re more reliable, less anxious, and more connected—then you’re in recovery. Period.
5. Managing the “Relapse” Fear
When we drop the “quit forever” pressure, the fear of relapse changes. Instead of it being a moral failure that ruins your life, it becomes a “data point.” It’s a sign that your current support system might need a tweak.
I’ve learned that when we stop being so afraid of “failing,” we actually become much more successful at staying healthy. We stop hiding our struggles and start talking about them, which is where the real healing happens.
The Bottom Line
Don’t let the fear of “forever” stop you from starting “today.” You don’t have to have the next thirty years figured out. You just have to decide what version of yourself you want to show up as tomorrow morning.
Recovery is about progress, not perfection. Whatever that looks like for you, we’re here to support the version of life that makes you feel whole.
Horizon Recovery Initiative | Youth-Led Addiction Support 